


i wish i could find the words (maybe i'll kiss you instead)

by vityuu (nanahoney)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (the best Victor ngl), Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Pining Victor Nikiforov, because i love writing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanahoney/pseuds/vityuu
Summary: It wasn't long before Victor found himself smiling at every text, anticipating every call and craving every brush of their hands together. It was a lot harder to hide than he imagined. Victor tended to stare at Yuuri more than it was platonically acceptable, under soft eyebrows and with stars in his eyes while Yuuri talked animatedly, absolutely shining. He often sat closer to him than necessary, letting their shoulders and arms touch, leaning in too close when he was explaining something to him.Yuuri never seemed to mind but he never gave any sign he felt the same so Victor decided to stay quiet and simply bask in his company.But that is suddenly hard to do when he's sat on Yuuri's bed, with Yuuri cradling his notebook and absentmindedly biting on the butt of his pen.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 12
Kudos: 114





	i wish i could find the words (maybe i'll kiss you instead)

**Author's Note:**

> one day i will learn to make short, one word titles  
> today is not that day  
> this was written because I really wanted a college romance but now I'm in college and in quarantine so no romance for me. might as well let yuuri and victor have it

Yuuri and Victor are sitting on Yuuri's bed silently studying when Victor snaps.

He's usually so good at ignoring his feelings, pushing them away into the parts of his being he can't even reach unless he goes to search for them. That's where he stores his fears, the sadness that claws at his mind every now and then when he's in his room by himself, his parents too busy to check up on him beyond the occasional written note pasted to the fridge reminding him to get groceries.

He'd been lonely before he met Yuuri. Being surrounded by people is not always kind - it often left him hollow at the end of the day, after he spent his time in empty conversation with people who never wanted to get to know him. Who only talked to him because they knew who his parents were and they wanted a piece of him, a piece of his life he refused to give out.

Then Yuuri came into his life, flushing and fumbling over his words when he had to introduce himself to the class. He was a transfer student from Japan, shy and determined not to meet anyone's eye as he stumbled over to the only empty seat left at the very back of the stuffy classroom.

Victor decided to join him for lunch that day and he had never looked back since.

Being with Yuuri was easy. He was open and sweet and made Victor feel appreciated, something he never thought possible.

It wasn't long before Victor found himself smiling at every text, anticipating every call and craving every brush of their hands together. It was a lot harder to hide than he imagined. Victor tended to stare at Yuuri more than it was platonically acceptable, under soft eyebrows and with stars in his eyes while Yuuri talked animatedly, absolutely shining. He often sat closer to him than necessary, letting their shoulders and arms touch, leaning in too close when he was explaining something to him.

Yuuri never seemed to mind but he never gave any sign he felt the same so Victor decided to stay quiet and simply bask in his company.

But that is suddenly hard to do when he's sat on Yuuri's bed, with Yuuri cradling his notebook and absentmindedly biting on the butt of his pen.

Victor watches him, legs crossed and his notebook on his lap. His fingers curl tightly around his fountain pen, eyes frozen on the sight of the pen between Yuuri's teeth. Yuuri hasn't noticed it yet, which is good because Victor's face is flushed red and his desires must be written plainly on his face, visible for all to see.

Victor wants Yuuri to see them because he's not sure he can go a moment more without feeling Yuuri's lips against his.

He imagines him leaning forward just then, catching Yuuri's chin between his fingers to get him to look up. He can see his thumb brushing against Yuuri's bottom lip, plump and soft beneath his touch, before he connects their lips and pushes Yuuri's homework out of his lap in favour of climbing there himself.

The warmth of Yuuri's lips is so close he can almost feel it, but he's scared to take the first step forward.

Yuuri's eyes glance up at his face after a few moments and he blinks. Victor sinks back and snaps his own gaze back towards the notebook he is holding on his lap.

"Is everything ok, Victor?" Yuuri says and pushes the homework off his lap so he can crawl closer to him. Victor stiffens and forces a smile on his face as he looks back up at him.

"Of course, Yuuri. Sorry I spaced out a bit."

Yuuri eyes him then glances down at the homework Victor should have been working on for the past ten minutes.

The page is empty.

Victor rubs the back of his neck and glances away, towards the window of Yuuri's dorm where he can see the outline of the building towering outside it. His cheeks burn.

"I guess I've been a bit distracted," he says and turns back to him, forcing another smile on his face. "Nothing's wrong though, don't worry."

Yuuri furrows his eyebrows and pushes Victor's homework out of his lap. The warmth of his hand seeps through Victor's thin shirt when he places it on his shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles, slow and hesitant.

Victor shakily exhales and looks away from his hand - the long fingers and chipped nails painted black - to meet his eyes.

 _He's close_ , Victor realizes.

Yuuri is close and he can kiss him.

It's what echoes through his mind, heartbeat alive in his ears as his hands shake on his knees.

Victor can count his eyelashes from so close. He can almost feel the warmth radiating off him, can trace the soft red flush spreading across his cheeks down to his neck.

Yuuri is close and Victor can touch him.

Hand still shaking, Victor gently places his hand atop the one Yuuri has on his shoulder. For a mere second, Yuuri stops but then his motions continue, his gaze steady and unyielding as it pierces his own.

"Victor, talk to me," Yuuri softly pleads, chewing on his bottom lip and _oh_ , Victor's eyes are drawn to it immediately. He licks his own.

"I'm sorry," he answers and lifts his gaze again. "I didn't mean to worry you. I'm really ok."

Yuuri searches his face for something. Victor's not sure he finds it, but his shoulders sag regardless.

Yuuri's pulling his hand away and Victor is surging forth to capture his lips instead.

His hand cradles his cheek, thumb tracing the small dents marring the skin warm and glowing under his touch. He can see Yuuri's breath catching just as he bumps their foreheads together, noses pressed together but lips not touching. Not yet. He can't bring himself to do it before he knows Yuuri wants it, too.

Their breaths mingle and Victor feels himself start to shake as something claws at his stomach until he's not so sure he won't throw up. Yuuri is shaking underneath his gaze as well, but he's not pulling away. Instead, his eyes gaze at him, wide in shock for a mere few moments before they flicker down, down the slope of Victor's face and _oh_.

Yuuri is staring at his lips.

"Yuuri?" Victor says, voice shaking as his throat closes. Yuuri's eyes snap back to meet his own. They're dark and deep and Victor wants to drown in them for the rest of his life.

"Yes?" Yuuri whispers and his hand comes to rest on the one cradling his cheek.

Yuuri is shaking, as well.

"Can I kiss you?" Victor breathes and bites his bottom lip as his words echo in his ears, tumbling through his mind, playing on repeat until he feels them washing over him in a wave of relief and dread.

Yuuri's breath hitches again and his eyes widen a fraction again. They search the slope of his face before his hand is squeezing Victor's, trembling in his hold.

Victor could weep.

"Kiss me," Yuuri whispers, voice hoarse and thick with feeling. His other hand fists at his shirt. " _Please_."

Victor lunges forward and presses their lips together before Yuuri can take another breath.

He can't describe the feeling that surges through him when their lips connect - something warm and comfortable, something that fills him to the brim, so full he's scared it might overflow through his skin and spill out all around. Yuuri's lips are soft and taste faintly of the coffee they had been sipping on just minutes prior, and he's moving them in sync with Victor without hesitation. Victor strokes the skin of his cheek again, his other hand pulling him in closer by the waist until he's drowning in him, their chests pressed together and hearts beating in sync.

Victor is the one who breaks the kiss first. He cracks open his eyes the tiniest bit, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed and so warm he could cry. Yuuri's eyes are still closed, he sees, and his lips are still cracked open the tiniest bit, as if he's expecting Victor's to settle between them once again.

Victor cracks a smile as he moves his hand from his jaw to feel his neck. The skin there is warm and red, and the fact that Victor managed to make him flush all the way down to his neck settles somewhere near Victor's heart.

Yuuri's eyes flutter open a few moments later. Victor only smiles wider as he bumps their foreheads together again, nuzzling their noses in a little kiss.

"Well, good morning there," he teases and marvels in the way Yuuri goes red again.

"Shut up," he murmurs and hides his face in the side of Victor's neck. He clutches at him desperately.

"So eloquent," he says and laughs, clutching at him in return. Yuuri pinches his side, making him yelp and jolt.

"That's what you get for teasing me," Yuuri says and smirks weakly at him when he pulls back a tiny bit. Victor only smiles in return.

"So," Yuuri says after a few moments. "That just happened."

"Mhm." Victor smiles at him then pauses. "Do you regret it?"

"What? No!" Yuuri quickly shakes his head. "Why would I regret it?"

Something in Victor's chest loosens and he can breathe again. "I'm not sure, I was just scared, I guess." He rubs his hips. "I didn't want you to regret it."

Yuuri's features soften and he's smiling beautifully at Victor, like the brightest star in the sky. Victor wants to hide his face from the intensity of his gaze.

"I'd never regret it,"Yuuri assures him. His hand hesitantly reaches up to cup Victor's warm cheek. Victor nuzzles into it and turns to press a kiss against his palm.

"I thought it was obvious I like you," Yuuri adds after a few moments and Victor pauses. He turns to stare at him.

"It very much was not."

Yuuri blinks. "It very much was."

"Nu-uh," Victor says and snorts. "I was the one who was obvious."

"You? You gave me, like, no signs you liked me!" Yuuri throws his arms out and pauses. "Apart from kissing me now, I guess."

Victor stares at him for a long while. Yuuri starts squirming under his gaze.

"You're joking, right?" Victor says, voice a bit flat.

"Ummm, no?" Yuuri winces and attempts a sheepish smile. Victor hangs his head and bumps his forehead against his shoulder.

"I thought your lack of response was due to the fact you weren't into me," he admits with a sigh, nuzzling the exposed skin. Yuuri's hand moves to stroke gentle circles through his hair, making him smile and push into his warm touch.

"That's my line," Yuuri says and laughs, brushing Victor's fringe out of his face when he lifts his head to look at him. Victor pushes into his touch again, closing his eyes.

"We were both idiots, huh?" He chuckles and nuzzles his hand. Yuuri's thumb strokes underneath his eye and it makes him sigh happily, body going limp against him.

Yuuri laughs quietly into his ear, his breath fanning against the shell making him shiver.

"I guess we were," he agrees, his forehead bumping against the side of Victor's face.

His hand moves to cup his neck for a moment before he’s pulling away. Victor has to bite back a pathetic whine at the loss of warmth pressing snugly against him.

“Now that that’s out of the way,” Yuuri says and motions at the homework resting limply beside Victor’s thigh. Victor turns to give it a glare.

“Cockblock,” he accuses, making Yuuri stifle a laugh into his hand. Something warm blooms in Victor’s chest at the sound and he silently congratulates himself.

Making Yuuri laugh is his favourite thing in the world.

“Don’t worry, we can go back to kissing as soon as we’re done.” Yuuri nudges their knees together and sends another small smile his way.

Victor immediately reaches for his homework and starts scribbling on it.

Yuuri’s laugh rings out and echoes through the room while he goes back to his own.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a part of a longer thing based off romance anime cliches buuut i am unable to write a multi-chapter thing so I decided to just release this into the wild  
> edit - i legit forgot we don't introduce ourselves while in college ASKGLG i blame quarantine and watching too many romance anime so pls disregard that 😃✋ i'm so embarrassed   
> might come back to it one day and actually write the thing?? hmmm i'll see  
> feel free to come say hi @seleneslyre-writes on tumblr!! i don't bite hehe


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